This is a long vent, I'm sorry. My husband and I have an 8 month old baby. He works, I'm a SAHM. I do everything for the house and the baby every day and every night.

He plays in a VR video game league. He does this 2-3 hours 5-6 nights a week. He played for 3 hours last night and the night before. It's off season, but he says he still requires practice nearly every day.

Tonight I mentioned an hour and a half before his game that I'd like to shower because I haven't in 5 days and my head was really itchy. He said he had a game, and I said "oh shoot, I wanted to wash my hair tonight." He said "I'll just play one game" and I said "ok, thanks." Then his mood soured. He said "Actually I won't play at all," and I said "you don't have to do that, I'll just be 10 minutes and I can go right now." He said that if he plays he has to start practicing in 5 minutes and so he texted his team that he wouldn't be joining tonight.

He then went off on me for "waiting until right before his game" to mention that I wanted to shower. (He was doing his own thing and I was taking care of the baby and this was the first time all day we were together). He said he'd been looking forward to playing. I said that I didn't ask him to not play, that literally all I did when he said he was going to play was say "oh shoot, I wanted to wash my hair tonight." He told me how selfish I am and I am mad about it. I took the baby into the bathroom and took a 3 minute shower while she cried and left him to his own devices. He then took a 30 minute shower (his second of the day; his first shower was 1 hour while I took care of the baby) and played his game anyway. But the kicker is that he's STILL mad at ME hours later (for having the nerve to want to shower once every 5 days I guess).

This man does nothing to help with our baby. Nothing. He has never bathed her, never clipped her nails, never fed her. He won't read to her or play with her, and he will not even consider getting up with her at night. He doesn't change her diapers and so many times if he's had her for 10 minutes while I shower, he gives her back to me crying with a dirty diaper and says "Ugh she wouldn't stop crying!" I'm 36 and have PCOS and had a very hard time getting pregnant and a very difficult pregnancy, and he keeps hounding me to have another baby because he wants a boy, but he doesn't help at all with our daughter so I don't want another one.

I'm beyond frustrated. I don't think I'm asking for much (in this case I technically didn't even ask for anything and I specifically said don't cancel your game, but was blamed when he decided to be a martyr and cancel anyway). I just want to take care of basic hygiene every once in awhile, meanwhile he smokes pot 5-10 times a day and games for hours and tells me that I'm the problem and any man would agree that I'm the problem.

I just needed to vent. If you read this far, thanks for listening. I'm frustrated and sad and very tired.