I was talking to my mom to come help me with my 10 year old and my 2 year old toddler when we are having a baby.

Last time she flew to stay with us 2 weeks prior but it was way easy as my oldest is old enough to understand the situation.

This time around my mom has some worry issues that she is dealing with her psychotherapist. She is completely down when she has these attacks and travelling (or anything stressful that connects to my life makes it all worse, according to her). So, I feel that she really doesn’t want to come as she needs all the paperwork prior to booking any flights. She’s delaying it and keeps telling me that she wishes to come but she doesn’t want to cause any stress with her health here. She is “trying to get better”, but her therapist told her it’ll take 5 months. So basically when no one asks her to do anything, she feels ok, but as soon as there are something inconvenient to her, she has these “attacks”.

I’m at this point very bummed out as I have only my friend near who is willing to help but my toddler saw her maybe twice, she is very attached to us and my friend is not that much of a kids person herself.

As my date comes closer I start panicking as I feel very sorry for my toddler and anxious about my mom . I hope they can release us from the hospital as soon as possible and there will be no complications but last time it still was 24 hours before we returned home.

My question is: should I talk directly to my mom, so they I understand if she’s actually coming or not. I don’t know how to deal with her issues as they are connected to me. Lately if she feels blamed (like for not coming), then she keeps describing how bad she had her attack as she feels so guilty. And I’m really sick of listening to that.

Sorry for the vent, just can’t put my head together.