Am I overreacting?

Question

So I’m currently pregnant with my first baby. 
I’m not far gone (first trimester still) and decided that I wouldn’t tell anyone until at least the first scan, as I’m aware anything can happen and this is a critical time for babies growth. 
I saw my mother today (we live very close and she’s my bubble, she also lives in a small country park) and as we were sat outside a few of her friends walked past and congratulated me.
When I asked her about it she said that she was excited to be a nanny and couldn’t help but tell her friends, even though I didn’t want to tell anyone,
I told her this made me unhappy and she got into a mood with me and said that it’s her “grandmas right” to tell her friends and that the argument was giving her a headache, she took some painkillers and walked off.
Was I overreacting in arguing with my mother or was I in the right? 
I’ve only told my partner and my best friend at this point and she’s told basically her whole village. 
I literally had people I don’t even know walk past and congratulate me...

Answer

At this point it is what it is. So what i would do if someone disrespected me in that type of way is not let them know next to anything about the baby. Two can play that game 🤷‍♀️

Answer

Your mother was in the wrong here. It was not her news to share, even as the grandmother. In most cases, miscarriage wasn’t talked about as frequently in the past; maybe she doesn’t understand the risk of early loss or how difficult it is to talk about, especially with strangers.

Answer

I hate that, grandmothers thinking they have some kind of rights to your baby smh. The only 2 people on this planet who have rights to your child are you and the father. Anybody else can get in line with what you want or get out the picture 🤷🏽‍♀️

Answer

Your mom was wrong for going against your wishes . I get she’s excited about it but she can hold off to respect you till you felt comfortable telling more people . It’s not her right to go and tell everyone when you told her not too. I’m sorry she did that.

Answer

My question is, did you already know this about your mother? My mom can't keep a secret for the life of her. I know this about her. I therefore was realistic in my expectations when I told her about my pregnancy. Do I think you are "right" and she is "wrong"? Yes, absolutely. But if it wasn't exactly a shocker that she did this, then I question your decision to tell her so soon as well. It isn't worth getting angry if you kinda saw this coming. So next time, be more strategic in what you share with her....only what you're comfortable with her sharing with others, since you know she will. If she's usually very good at keeping quiet with news, then I can see how you're feeling blind-sided and hurt.

Answer

Damn she’s cold 😂 took those painkillers and walked off 😂
She’s absolutely wrong. You’re allowed to feel however you want, this is happening to YOU. 
In the future, you shouldn’t tell anyone any news that you aren’t ready for the public to know. Sucks that people can’t abide by your wishes but they clearly can’t. Best of luck to you and baby 💕

Answer

You have every right to be upset with her and she shouldn’t have done that. My mil did this and my daughter is 1.5 and it definitely changed our relationship that she felt she could do whatever and wouldn’t apologize. I’d take it as a lesson that your mom might not be able to know baby stuff you don’t want shared. We didn’t share the name and we didn’t tell mil when I was in labor because I didn’t want her telling anyone and couldn’t trust her not to keep her mouth shut.

Answer

I’m going to play devils advocate here. So years ago I had the same thing happen. My mom told all her friends when I only told immediate family and my husband. Well, I had an ectopic pregnancy that pregnancy. My mom was responsible for telling her friends about it. None of my friends had had an ectopic and some of her friends had had a loss and one had even had an ectopic. I found great comfort in talking about this friend’s experience and seeing now that she has 3 beautiful kids. I think you have every right to be upset though. In my case it was a blessing in disguise that she told them.

Answer

I would have been so mad. You are right! It’s YOUR announcement. Once it’s more general knowledge, she can tell people. Not before. My mom asked if she could tell a couple people early on.

Answer

No you're not overreacting. It is YOUR pregnancy. My mother did the same thing with my daughter and I didnt say a word to her for 2months, we got into a screaming match and she apologized and begged to be part of my life again, which I allowed but also our relationship is permanently broken

Am I overreacting?

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