Mental Health- Bipolar Disorder
I’m a first time mommy, and very early in my pregnancy. It was completely unplanned and came from nowhere. I found out when I was 3 weeks because my roommate thought I was acting weird and suggested I take a test. I took the test for laughs and giggles but it wasn’t funny the moment the test came back positive. I have gone thru a termination of pregnancy when I was 21, and that situation was the trigger for my first episode. Now 3 1/2 years later I’m pregnant again and Termination or adoption isn’t an option as i almost took my life the first time around. I couldn’t/can’t bare the thought of taking away a life let alone one I helped make. I know kids are miracles and a blessing but I can’t help but feel otherwise. I’ve been constantly in a depressive state since I found out. I barely eat unless I’m being physically forced to, I stay in bed all day, I have self harming thoughts, and feel extremely hopeless. I don’t feel as though I’m ready to be a mom, to care for a child when I can barely provide and take care of myself, and I’m afraid I will harbor resentment towards my child. Please send me kind words of encouragement as I can really use it right now. Has anyone else gone thru something similar?
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