So I have pretty bad anxiety (especially about health)! So the night before last night I was laying in bed and had a severe abdominal pain sat up and that made it worse. It was so bad! I literally couldn’t move! At all! I was freaking out. Say there for like an hour in pain trying not to move. Wanted to call ambulance but didn’t cause I would need to move to get in the ambulance so I figured I would just try to crawl into my car, after an hour I managed to shimmy (is that the word?) in a hunched position to my car. Got to the er and got into a wheel chair pretty easy. Got in to the er and they asked a couple questions: “pain level 1-10” I said 4 which was true at that moment. Where I messed up was forgetting to say how intense it just was before the car ride here.

[[ The issue here is I have really bad social anxiety and a difficult time expressing my self verbally, and speaking up for myself. So often I leave things out and what not which is really bad and adds so much to my anxiety because now they don’t know the full scope and might miss important things or misdiagnose me 😳😣 ]]

Shortly after checking in I did a urinary test and at first I was like I might need help here, but then I wiggled into a position where I could get up then suddenly it was really easy and I was very mobile with little pain. Later on I even laid down flat twice for sonograms.

So looking on it I’m like wth where’d the pain go so suddenly, and also upset that I forgot to tell them how SEVERE it was just prior! So they just though I went in for mild -a 4 out of 10 pain level abdominal pain 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️! I feel like that’s pretty important information. Like it was really bad guys(the pain prior)!

So they sent me home is the diagnosis of a (they did say it was a pretty bad one) UTI and constipation. (So I have been pretty constipated for the past few years but it only ever one caused pain and it was very different from this).

So I had a follow up today on the phone with my doctor. And it seems like they’re not even concerned with the UTI, they just keep mentioning the constipation (which I know can cause problems, but this feels very different and serious -which I forgot to convey twice! My anxiety of communicating gets the best of me😣. I was planning on conveying to my Dr. how severe the pain was but didn’t so now I’m just so anxious that this could be something worse, like a kidney infection or sepsis!!

On top of this all! -I found two lumps on my breast!😫 ugh

Sorry for the long post obviously I’m an anxious wreck, can’t sleep. I get such bad anxiety about my health, probably because I know I’m not the healthiest👀 especially with this pandemic and quarantine.

So the main point of this post is that I’m again feeling these intense pains, (not as intense cause I can move around, but it’s making me so nervous that any second now, or any little movement and I’m going to be in agonizing pain again -then I’ll have to decide whether to go to the er again or not, and if I do I’ll have to explain myself and just embarrass myself with my inability to communicate.

The pain is also just so weird, it’s hard for me to describe which doesn’t help. It’s DEFINITELY not in my stomach as they keep making it out to be. They keep bringing up constipation, but this pain has NOTHING to do with what I eat to don’t eat, it’s NOT stomach pain, it’s different.

So another thing is it’s important to understand I HATE going to the Drs. It is the last place I’ll go. It’s so bad I’ll usually overlook health problems I’m experiencing and just brush it off as nothing. This is one of those times I’ve done this. So quite a while ago, don’t know how long because days are merging but it might have even been a good while before the pandemic, I did notice my pee started smelling super weird, but I just brushed it off. Now I see that all this time I probably had a UTI which just induces the fear that I might be for than just a uti -like a kidney infection or sepsis!

Anyway I’m so anxious right now I apologize for the messy long post but it would really be appreciated for some input outside of my anxious mind (even though it might not be anxiety relieving input👀) it would help to know other peoples experiences with a uti as I’ve never had one before. Also how would you describe the pain because ya so difficult for me for some reason. I would almost describe it as i what I would imagine an ulcer, or like inner wound would feel like. Does that make sense, like a stinging feeling but also almost like sore or like raw pain that shoots through my abdomen, sides and back.