How do I stop feeling like this?

Question

Is anyone else in or has been in this situation. I’m 23 years old and have wanted a baby for many years. My partner always says no and makes me feel awful like I’m pressuring him which I’m not. I know 23 is still young but I’ve always felt like I want to be a mum and and younger mum. 
My partner says he wants to wait until his older and I should respect that , which I do. But he doesn’t respect how I feel. I feel so down and at always being told no. I know it’s sounds stupid but it actually hurts to be told no for something ive longed for. I have PCOS, so I always worry I will struggle to conceive and time will “ run out”. I know it’s such a stupid way of thinking but i feel so terribly about wanting a baby , I don’t know what to do with myself.

Answer

That was me 🙋🏻‍♀️
I knew in high school that I wanted to be a mom. I had no idea what I wanted my “career” to be, I just knew that I wanted to have kids.
I got married to my husband and our original plan was to wait 2-3 years before trying for kids. Well then we were around several other couples who have kids and babies and I started getting baby fever so bad! 
I would talk to my husband about it and how I wanted to have kids sooner than 2-3 years. I was getting depressed about it. He was still wanting to wait.
After awhile, we decided that once we were married for one year, we could start trying. I was anxious and nervous because PCOS and endometriosis runs in my family and I was worried that it would take a long time to get pregnant. And then my sister was pregnant and his sister was pregnant with their second baby and his cousins was pregnant with their third, and a girl I worked with was pregnant with her first by accident. 
In the anxiousness and yearning that I had, I stopped taking my birth control a month sooner than what we had agreed on and got pregnant almost immediately.
My husband was so excited when I told him though! And I did tell him about stopping my birth control early and apologized. I have a wonderful husband and he forgave me—and also noted that we were close to starting to try anyways.
But being pregnant and then having a baby has been so much work. And for him, he can’t just do what he wants anymore. We can’t just hang out all evening like we did before and we always have to take our daughter into consideration. We are both very tired and I haven’t slept through the night in FOREVER. So I still feel guilty sometimes because I took that away from him. So try to understand that while it’s hurting you now that you want a baby and he doesn’t, it can hurt him when later you have a baby and he’s living a different life than what he was ready for.
We love our daughter and we wouldn’t trade her for anything! But it turns your entire world upside down. It’s important to wait until you are both on the same page. I’m very lucky that my husband wasn’t hurt or upset about stopping my birth control early. (He is overall truly amazing!)

Here’s my baby girl—she’s almost 6 months old!

Answer

My question is are you financially stable enough to care for a baby? Do you have your own place? If you and your partner are, and he doesn’t want kids yet, then it may be time to consider whether you should call it quits, or if you want to stick it out and wait (have to consider how long he wants to wait as well).

Answer

Is he saying no because he doesn’t want kids, or is he saying no because y’all are not in a good place in your lives for a baby? 
If it’s the first one: it’s time to reevaluate the relationship. If he doesn’t want to have kids and you do, one of you needs to compromise or you need to go your separate ways. 
If it’s the second: he’s right. Having kids is more than just being able to afford diapers and wipes. You have to have the extra time, money, patience, space etc. I’m 28 and there is a huge difference between my life at 23 and my life at 25 (when I got pregnant). I am SO glad I waited. Don’t get me wrong my clock was ticking, but we made a baby bucket list and spent 2 years dedicating time to ourselves and our goals for ourselves before kids. 10/10 would recommend.

Answer

I totally get where you are coming from. 
I feel like that's normal for women that know they want to be a mom. 
As for dealing with it, I guess we just do. Usually I wouldn't suggest leaving unless there were more of a reason but ultimately, that's why I feel that should be a question for when you first meet someone. Unlike others who thing that's a big question when getting to know someone. Otherwise it will be like this. It's for him to decide when he is already and wants to. It's for you also though. Fact show women's fertility decreases with age, how much old is he wanting to wait? I don't want to be negative but it is something to consider. Besides I have my own reasons for wanting to be a mom younger as I'm sure you do. It's not fair to either of you really. Unless you can come to a compromise which depending on the situation, idk what that would be. I guess marriage is about working through things. You shouldn't have to put your dreams and family on hold until your 40 if you don't want to. Just saying. 
Message me if you want to talk.

How do I stop feeling like this?

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