My Son, I miss you.

My sweetest love, I am so sorry. Sweet boy, you deserved so much more than what I gave you. I’m so sorry I didn’t help you. I’m so sorry I made it worse. I’m so sorry I broke my water & took your breath. I will never forgive myself. You would be here if I didn’t push my water out. I could have given you a chance. I should have gone straight to the hospital. My sweet son, I’m so sorry. I can barely handle this. I miss you. I miss your kicks. I would be holding your hand right now if I didn’t ruin everything. I should have saved you. I should have helped you. I love you dear boy. I love you so much more than anything. I will never forgive myself for failing you. What have I done