as much as ppl joke and know about pregnancy scares, for me it brought a lot of trauma and a huge impact on my self. i experienced it as early as 16, but I’m 18 now, I must admit I am sexually active I was exposed with sexual stuff at an early age, I enjoy the pleasure and intimacy me and my boyfriend has when having sex cause I really love him, so fucking much. but like we are taking precautions but even though I had safe sex, since I have severe anxiety I constantly think what if I’m pregnant even if I just had a period it’s that worse. And whenever my friends joke about like “ur craving this stuff? what are u pregnant?” I wanted to fucking cry at that moment. But I can’t. No one knows I’m sexually active in this place full of conservatives. And knowing there are no planned parenthoods, easily accessible contraceptives and abortion clinics here makes it worse. I... I just, it brought a lot of trauma to me. And worse, I asked my mom “I’m getting painful cramps, does this mean I’ll get my period?” and of course expecting that she’ll say yes to my question to assure my anxious mind, she answered the opposite and then asked me “are you still a virgin? don’t tell me you’had sex? are you not tight anymore? your husband won’t be happy”

it fucking broke my heart to hear that and as soon as I heard that all of the trauma that I’ve dealt dealing with pregnancy scares plus my anxiety all came back to me and I nearly cried in front of my mom but I didn’t obviously, I had to fight it.

this still happens to me now, i just hope I can get birth control soon and get therapy. i just wanted to share and if you’ve gotten this far, thank you so much for hearing my story here. I appreciate you.