So a little back story: in 2016 I gave birth to the most beautiful daughter. But she was stillborn at 36 wk 2 days. During her delivery (vaginally) I damaged my pubic symphysis so much so that I have been on pain meds and physical therapy everyday since her birth. We decided we wanted to try to have one more. So about 7 months after her delivery we started trying. Tracking my ovulation the whole 9 yards. After a year of nothing we saw a fertility doctor and started clomid, and nothing then multiple <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>’s and again nothing. The doctor sat us down after he took numerous tests and said he didn’t think I would ever get pregnant naturally and he recommended <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">ivf</a>. He laid out a plan that was nearing $30 grand. We went home and thought about our options on how to come up with the money. Now I’m proud to say that at 30 we have a beautiful house that is completely paid off. But the only way we were gonna be able to afford the <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">ivf</a> was to take out a loan against the house and we just weren’t comfortable doing that with no guarantees that at the end of this I would indeed be pregnant so after many many many tears we decided to forgo <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">ivf</a> treatment and just be blessed to have our then 4.5 year old. We went on a UK trip for 3 weeks with our grandparents in May of 2019. In July 2019, on my birthday we found out I WAS PREGNANT. Now because of my pelvis issue from my stillborn daughter Avery, the doctor had me do a scheduled c-section. So traumatized from that ordeal. Short version I felt everything the whole c section. The medication for the spinal block did not work on me. The anesthesiologist and my husband literally had to hold me down the entire delivery. It was horrific and by the end of it I had passed out due to the pain not because of any medication. And I ended up having internal bleeding after they sent me home a few days later and almost died. But My daughter just turned 1 on the 25th of February 🥰 so I’d say it was worth it. Traumatizing? Absolutely. But 💯 worth it to get my rainbow baby. I decided I was done. Pregnancy was so hard on me every time. My body just was not a fan of it and I am miserable the entire pregnancy and in pain because of other complications I won’t get it to since I’m blabbering enough as it is. But I positive I was done. I was happy with my son and my new rainbow baby. I was content. So anyway at around 4 months pp I just felt off and was compelled to take another pregnancy test. It was positive again. I was in shock. But I found my self so excited. Two days later I miscarried. It made me realize I’m not as “done” I thought I was. Mind you my pelvis is SO jacked up. I see a pain doctor weekly and an orthopedic doctor monthly with regular MRI’s to monitor the issue. I also get injection to help ease some of the discomfort. But anyway We decided that we wouldn’t go on birth control and just let nature takes it course and if we get pregnant again then yay! Right? Well my latest MRI show arthritis in the pubic symphysis joint as well and moderate deterioration. I need surgery. Problem is the surgery is where they take a metal plate and place it over the joint to stabilize it and keeps it from shifting. I will no longer be able to have kids. Ever. I feel like my choice is being taken away from me. I don’t know how long I can no have the surgery. Or how long it will take me to get pregnant before the surgery. Like what am I supposed to do? I’m feeling so much pressure from every side of this. I’m so overwhelmed. Advice? TIA. Sorry it was such a long story but I felt necessary to get the full picture.