Hi Ladies!

I’ve been rolling forward with many of you for about a year now on this app as we’ve been on the <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> rollercoaster. I’ve laughed and cried and celebrated and grieved with so many of you! This is my crowd. I have been supported and loved and cheered on by so many of you... and that makes this post really bittersweet to write.

TL;DR: We got a miraculous BFP and a viability U/S, so it’s time to say goodbye for now! I love you all so much and will continue to cheer you on and pray for your successes! ❤️🙏🏻🤞🏻🍀

Our story. I’m 40. My husband and I got pregnant right after we married five years ago. It happened so fast, I thought I’d avoided all the problems with infertility that my sisters had. Not so fast... our baby wasn’t viable and after three agonizing months waiting forever a miscarriage, we finally induced one for one of the most traumatic nights of our lives together.

Two years later... a faint line brought hope. Unfortunately, it faded and a few days later I bled. My OB-GYN ordered a series of tests and found my AMH was low: 0.3... so she recommended fertility treatments. My blood work also showed thyroid antibodies, but so far thyroid function was normal.

A year of COQ10 and DHEA and three retests from three fertility clinics and my AMH was somewhere between 0.9 and 1.48.

Two failed IUIs. A failed <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> cycle (cancelled in the middle because I ovulated when I started Lupron). A successful <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> cycle. Unfortunately, it resulted in another missed miscarriage and a D&C (last August).

I didn’t post much after August’s miscarriage.

My annual checkup with my GP uncovered that while my TSH was still WNL for life, it was way too high for pregnancy. My RE immediately started me on a low dose of Synthroid. My GP also ran a gluten sensitivity panel (did you know Celiac is related to multiple miscarriages and infertility - I didn’t). I tested positive for gluten sensitivity but negative on blood work for Celiac. My genetics show I am at higher risk for Celiac, though, so until my gastroenterologist can do biopsies to verify the negative results, we decided to cut gluten as a precaution.

We also decided to test any embryos and do an FET instead of a fresh cycle. We asked about two back-to-back retrievals since I’m not getting younger. The clinic agreed to consider it. Especially since I don’t respond much to stims.

We had another round of <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> in November-December and it was a complete failure! Three follicles on US, a couple of smaller ones hiding in the back. Doctor aspirated EVERYTHING he could find... and they were ALL empty. Empty. Nada. He said they didn’t even have granulosa cells, which they expect to find. My body grew cysts.

More testing. Discussions of donor eggs and embryos. Tests were inconclusive, so we decided to move forward with one last round of <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> (possibly two if the insurance company didn’t count the failed cycle as one of our three lifetime chances). The clinic was booked out until April 2021. So I rolled forward with all of you. And waited.

I worried the reason we had no eggs in December was because I’d been on BCP for too long (nearly three months before we started stims). So I told the clinic I didn’t want to be on BCP for long before our calendar. They told me to call them when my next cycle started.

I waited. And waited. Honestly, I didn’t think much of it. Wasn’t paying attention to the date. We were nowhere near April. I started doing Yoga with Adriene on YouTube every morning for self care. I saw an acupuncturist for infertility. She suggested a vitamin supplement.

One day I felt like my period was about to start. It was finally time to email my clinic. I figured it would start by the weekend. It didn’t. I looked back at the calendar. It was a little late, but honestly, after what my body had been through, I wasn’t surprised. Another week went by. No period. But no pregnancy symptoms either. Finally, I decided to take a HPT. They were leftover from last summer. And expired. But they were positive. So I didn’t trust them. Another week went by. I reached out to my clinic for advice. HCG 9,000. What?!

At the first ultrasound, we heard something we’d never heard before: a strong heartbeat. And they found what they thoughts was a hemorrhage. They wanted to monitor me closely. Back again a week later for a second ultrasound. Strong heartbeat. Normal growth. It was a miracle. And the bleed? Turns out it was a second pregnancy. Only they aren’t confident it will survive. It’s smaller. Back again for another scan.

So far both babies are growing. One is still worrisome. The doctor wants me to see a specialist. So we wait, and we pray, and we hope that these little miracles will make it.

It feels unreal. I’m still processing it. I’m cautiously optimistic (and exhausted). And all I want is for every beautiful person in this group to have their own miracles. This is such a long, hard road. My heart is with each of you wherever you are on your journeys. I wish you all the love and peace and comfort and success! Thank you for being here for me whenever I’ve needed your support! ❤️🙏🏻🤞🏻🍀