Ive been dating a guy for a little more than a year. I’m not sure what to think of him anymore. Since the beginning, I have given him nothing but love and affection and nothing less. I’ve always been there to help him and show him I care and love him and only him. I’ve never done anything to harm him ever. I truly love him so much. We started dating late second semester last year like a week before covid hit. We were really close and he took me out to the mall and to the arcade and to eat at many different places. I had never been anywhere before because my mom has a fear of driving. Once summer hit we had our first few fights. I was the one who “started” them because that’s the point that I started feeling like my feelings weren’t being returned as much as I’d like them to be. He didn’t say I love u back after I did and begged him to. He thought it was funny joking about not saying I love u back bc I got all mad, but it really hurt. To this day I still get upset about that. And call me a sensitive snowflake if you will, I know I am sensitive. But at the beginning of our relationship I told him to make a promise to me to not have sex with me until we were married bc I’m really scared of sexual stuff. I am still a virgin, but during the summer he convinced me to have oral sex. Something I said I didn’t really want to do. He pulled down my underwear and I was freaked out and told him to stop and he did, but the next day he did it when I barely said okay and was obviously uncomfortable. Yes I did enjoy it, but I didn’t at the same time because I felt so much guilt. I felt dirty, and didn’t like the idea of doing it. Well during October my mom read our messages and found out about that and banned me from seeing him. That hit me really hard. My mom and sister threatened a restraining order on him and took me to the police station. That was an extremely traumatic event because they told me that If I stayed with him I would end up like my other sister who lives in a trailer house and cleans peoples houses for a living. At this point I was fucking broken and it feels like my boyfriend didn’t care. He’s not good at all with helping me feel better because he just tells me to stop because I’m making him sad. And recently i threatened to break up with him because I’m such a terrible emotional mess and he said I was manipulating his emotions. So of course I backed down because i hate the thought of hurting him. Am I victim of rape and manipulation? Or am I just really sensitive and messed up in the head :(?