One month ago today I said goodbye to my baby as I was injected with my first round of methotrexate. I’ve been on bed rest the whole month waiting for my hcg to go down. I’m supposed to go back to work tomorrow and I don’t know how I’m going to get through the day. I’m a total mess today crying off and on and I’ve been trying to put up a good front around my husband and my parents so no one worries it’s been hard. And I’m so angry at everything, I should be 9 weeks pregnant and instead I’m counting down my hcg waiting to hit that negative result so I can begin my waiting so we can start trying again. I’m even mad at myself that I want to start trying again so soon, I feel kind of selfish. But I can’t wait until my 3 months are up because everyday I log into my Facebook or my Instagram and I see everyone posting pregnancy announcements or baby announcements I die a little inside. I’ve wanted a baby for so long and it’s just so unfair that mine was taken way too soon. Sorry to vent but I just needed to talk to people who I hope know what I mean