*sorry this is long I’m kind of just. Venting*

*long story short I got better news at my anatomy scan but am still just as worried*

So I previously posted that my 13 week scan showed an NT measurement of 3.2mm. NIPT came back low risk. I had an early anatomy scan at 16 weeks to have a better look at her. Her nuchal fold at that point was 3.3mm so it had gone up a tiny bit, but the doctor said that at 16 weeks gestation, 3.3mm is now normal and not considered high. She said every other bit of her was measuring perfectly, her heart looked perfect her brain, all of her organs, and every bone measured exactly as it should. My doctor said she is not so concerned and Wouldn’t “push me” to get amnio based off these findings.

I felt so happy leaving that appointment. I felt like I was in the clear and I was excited and relieved. But that lasted a few hours only. I’ve since been worried all over again. Bc although the nuchal is considered normal for her size now, it didn’t technically go down. And I’m pretty sure after 14 weeks that’s not really a significant thing to look at anyway right? The fact that her NT was high at 13 weeks is still more telling? Also most of the “positive outcome” stories I’ve seen on this app, the nuchal actually measured SMALLER at later scans, and I think that would’ve made me feel a lot better....

I also just know that it really only takes one marker for there to be a problem. And a lot of babies born with issues of abnormalities didn’t have ANY markers! I guess nothing is going to make me feel better?

So I’m still in this boat of worry and I will feel this way until she’s born because I can’t bring myself to get the amnio. I’m only 17 weeks 2 days and I feel like the rest of my pregnancy will be spent just being an anxious mess waiting to be able to hold her and see her myself and be told if she’s ok or not, and go from there. I wish I could just know right now without having to do any risky invasive test!!! I have been trying my damn HARDEST to think the best and believe she’s 100% fine and drill it into my brain. But I can’t help it. After seeing that fluid at the NT scan there’s no way I can unsee it, knowing all the possibilities. And I feel terrible bc I so badly just want to think I’m in the clear and enjoy this pregnancy without all the anxiety. Not just for my sake but for my baby’s.