Genetic testing for past mc’s

We had our appointment yesterday and she sent me for testing to see what’s going on. Then she started to talk about adoption, IVF, egg or sperm donor. I got really uncomfortable due to mentally we are not their yet and it broke me. Obviously the what if’s, I cried so hard when we got home. Part of me I hope they find something wrong with me when looking at my blood work so we don’t have to start thinking about that. This is the longest journey and it’s harder than I thought.