Anxiety with a new baby
So I am 3 almost 4 months pp. I have delt with anxiety since I was in middle school. I honestly probably had it before then but who knows.
I learned how to deal with it by controlling certain things that I know trigger it. Having a new baby throws it off a lot. But I have to give it to my self for the most part I’ve been doing good at trying to go with it because I don’t want him to feel it.
But don’t get me wrong there are some days where I feel it building in my chest and I need that control. But he’s just a baby he can’t help that for some reason he can’t go to sleep so he’s just going to cry. And I feel like such a bad mom when I get frustrated. It’s the days where my anxiety is all over the place where I feel like the worst person in the world.
When I try talking to my husband about it he just doesn’t get it. He’s like well then I’ll just stay home and you go back to work. While all I’m tying to do is just tell him how I’m feeling in that moment to get it out because once I do that I feel better. My husband seriously has the patience of a saint and I wish I had that.
And when he is crying sometimes I do have to put him down and just walk away to clear my head and take a couple deep breaths and then I go back pick him up and writhing seconds he’s sleeping. I know I’m a good mom and doing the best I can as a first time mom. Sometimes I just feel like I’m a horrible mom and wife. I have to remind my self that I’m not perfect and no one is and I just have to do the best I can.
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