UPDATE: Husband changing his mind and now I’m stuck
When my husband and I first met we both ideally wanted 3 kids (or even up to 4 based on circumstances etc).
We now have 1 child who is 2 yrs old. Ideally we would be pregnant by now or trying (because we always wanted them close in age so this already feels late to start trying).
But suddenly my husband flips a switch and says he doesn’t want anymore than the one we have. Idk if the stress of toddler life makes him think he can’t handle newborn on top of it (even tho I’m the one home 90% of the time)
We have been getting into more arguments lately so perhaps that’s why, but nothing worth changing our life goals over?!
But here’s the conundrum—this is borderline dealbreaker for me. I feel like he took away my right to being a mother to a big family (if we would have been blessed with more to begin with) but not trying makes it so much worse.
If we were currently childless and he said no kids, I would def contemplate leaving.
But now with a child it’s more complicated. Because now I feel like I’m ruining my current child’s life/childhood by ripping apart her family esp if I don’t end up meeting someone else or having more kids like splitting up was for nothing and did more harm than good. I’m 30 so i don’t have ALOT of time.
Considering counseling since I think it stems from us having so many petty arguments lately but doubt he’ll want to try—which is why I’m even contemplating this scenario.
Idk. Do I stay in this marriage and hope he changes his mind and if he doesn’t at least we’ll have a family unit with our one child anyway? (But worried ill resent him)
Or split and take the risk
Ugh Idk where I’m getting at here but just had to write out my thoughts :/
ETA: I did talk to him about it. He automatically got super defensive with no reasoning on what changed his mind. Immediately said “if u want more kids go marry someone else” all without me ever mentioning that I was even thinking about having to make a decision on staying or not. I’m very non-confrontational and try to talk about it like an adult and he usually just shuts down or does the extreme opposite and recommends something like marrying someone else (even if he doesn’t even mean it)
Also forgot to add. My main driving force for wanting another child as well is for my child more than anything. I want her to grow up with sibling(s) so that when we die she doesn’t have zero kinship left. I know it’s morbid thinking but it was my initial reason for wanting a big family to begin with. She’s so lonely now no matter how much I play with her :/