Feel free to ignore, i just needed to vent and I don't want to put any extra pressure on my partner as we buried his grandma yesterday... Would love some comforting/motivating/optimistic/happy/... comments/memes/pics... Tho 🥺😅

The past week has been so hard on me, I agreed doing some extra night shifts because of a sick coworker, but the pregnancy exhaustion and just not being able to sleep is hitting me hard.

I have my last night shift today, I've been working 12 days in a row then, 14 with only one day off because I went from an evening shift to early shift and that not allowed (so 2 evenings, 1 day off, 5 mornings and 7 nights)

When I agreed I didn't have anything else planned, but before my second shift we got a call that my partners grandma died, it's been very emotional.

Yesterday I only slept 3 hours because of the funeral, Saturday I didn't sleep at all because I wanted to help my partner with funeral arrangements and we had to get clothes as covid caused my partner to not have anything decent that fits.

During night shifts I work on call while stationed at the office, so patients can push their alarm when they need help at night, we can drive op to 40 minutes for a patient (so 1u20m drive wordt case). The drives aren't easy when exhausted.

I try the nap a bit in between calls, but we only have a crappy cheap desk chair so my back hurts so much now.

Nausea is getting worse, I had a hot meal with me last night, but I could only eat the veggies and a bit of the potatoes, the meat is grossing me out, hunger makes the nausea worse, but most foods make me sick just looking and smelling it.

I've also been badly constipated, I've had a gastric bypass surgery a few years ago and the OBGYN adviced me when we were TTC to take special prenatals the moment we had a positive, but those make a regular bm even more difficult, I already had trouble with constipation before getting pregnant. Now my gp adviced me to take iron supplements next to the prenatal and it's making it even worse. My bm looks like bunny droppings... And only very small amounts every 2-3 days.

I'm taking over the counter stool softer, eating extra veggies and fruit, trying to get some extra walking in and eating probiotic yoghurt.

Today I freaked out after trying to go to the toilet, there were blood spatters EVERYWHERE, and the entire toilet water was bright red. I freaked out because I was afraid for miscarriage, but when wiping it was clear it wasn't a vaginal bleeding.

Idk, I'm just overwhelmed at the moment, I shouldn't have accepted the extra shifts, but it wouldn't have been a problem without the extra "circumstances".

Oh and I forgot to mention, that when I'm able to sleep, I wake up every 2-3 hours tops to pee 🤣.

First trimester isn't fun at all, 6+2 today