So bit of background. My partner and me have been trying to conceive since 13th October 2018. In November 2019 I saw my gp about trying to see a specialist as still hadn't conceived (we were told we may have issues due to an autoimmune disease that I have). He also tested my hormone levels as I should have been ovulating around the time I saw him. Doctors receptionist told me all was ok with results but when I went back in march 2020 I was told I never ovulated cause I wasnt producing hormones but nothing was done. So I started to take ovulation tests and when I was 28day cycle I was getting a positive but if I was 30 day cycle it would be negative.

Fast forward to January 2021. I had a period from hell on new years day. Having to change every 40 mins and still leaking even then :(. I then started to feel sick about 13th Jan thought I was having one of my autoimmune reactions. But on 4th February after being 4-6 days late I get a positive test. So excited we worked out it would be due on 13th october which would be exactly the same date we started trying 3 years early, and also my nans birthday who we safly lost last year. We told both sets of parents on the 6th as we were so happy. And then unfortunately 11th February we lost our little bean :(.

They said at the hospital that my cervix was still closed and that I would have heavy bleeding as I miscarried and then a bad period 3 or 4 weeks later. I bled for 3 days but not even enough to fill a pad. We have been having sex since as we want another baby as soon as.

I took a test this morning as I'm having my covid vaccine today and didnt want to get it if I was pregnant. But it came back negative. So assume I should start bleeding in the next couple days.

I just feel like a failure or that I don't deserve to be a mum. My cousin who didnt want children announced on new years <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">eve</a> that she was pregnant and due in June. I'm happy for her and thought it wont be so bad as I'll be pregnant too but now I'm dreading her having one and me still being unable too :(.

Our hospital have also indicated that even though we were meant to have <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">fertility treatment</a> which was stopped due to covid now weve had a pregnancy even though it was a lose they wont do treatment on us for another 2 years.

I just want our baby. Sorry to rant