Throughout college, my bf helped me financially. Not by thousands but maybe a few hundreds throughout the course of 4 years. My senior year of college I became suicidal and depressed so I dropped out of my last year. I lost my job, I stopped taking care of myself and after a physical altercation with my dad my bf took care of me. He helped me get therapy and helped me get back on my feet.

Since I dropped out, I have a $13,000 debt to my college which I’m slowly paying off but will take years. Well my bf and I moved in together in 2019 and during the pandemic his unemployment checks helped us pay our bills on time and for groceries. My job cut our hours drastically and so his unemployment helped us out a lot. Well now it’s tax season and my bf now owes more than $3,000.

So after all of this, I’m offering to help my bf pay off his debt. I have been saving up for us to buy a house and he is stressing out because he won’t take my money. I don’t have much saved up but I would be able to help him out but he’s refusing to take my money. It’s honestly frustrating because throughout our whole relationship I have been feeling like a shitty girlfriend for never being there for him. He has been there for me financially and emotionally so the one time I can help him out, he’s saying no??

Idk what to do to get him to accept the money because I have tried everything. I want to go behind his back and just pay it off secretly because he does not need to stress about this. He has worked his ass off at his new job and the last thing I need is for him to feel like a failure for not having enough money to pay that back.