Loneliness

I feel all alone in the world most of the time... just apart from everyone, like I'm incapable of relating to anyone else. Since my mom died, these feelings have quadrupled. I try to talk to my husband about it, but he says it is selfish. I should think about how others feel. I have a good life, and no reason to feel this way. I just feel like the only person struggling like I am... how does everyone else seem to have it together? How to people connect and make friends? I'm in my 20s, and I can honestly say that I don't have a single close friend to confide in. I used to enjoy church, and felt like I belonged, but now I don't. I feel like I can't even go in there. I feel so selfish guilty and ashamed. I keep a bottle of unisom and benadryl on hand in case I get the courage to end it. I do have a good life. Iam in college and working a good job and I have a good husband, who is also a great dad to our three year old. I hate myself for feeling these things and having tbe thoughts that I do because I am so disgustingly selfish. I don't know what to do anymore....