I have been is a lesbian relationship for over three years now. During this time I have questioned if my fully lesbian or pan sexual/bisexual. Me and her have had countless conversations about it and she’s known that I have questioned it. I finally realized that I am pan sexual. I told my wife and she is pissed. She said I’ve hurt her more than anyone has before. She has had pst relationships that have left her then got with a man. So the the last few years I have shyed away from being pan because of what she’s went through. She then proceeded to tell me that I’m not allowed to have a second option and marrying her meant I had to choose being lesbian over anything else. She then threatens me and said if I ever cheat on her with a man, she would go to jail that day, I said why and she said because I would kill both of y’all for being stupid.

I told her that me being pan sexual does not change me wanting to be married to her. I don’t want anyone else. But she believes differently. What do I do? I’m so sad and I didn’t want to hurt her.