And its not my stretch marks or fat or anything.

Its how I ripped. Its my third degree tear and the fact I had an episiotomy that really disgusts me. I saw someone else post similar and I realized I feel the same.

I feel gross at how bad I ripped because everyone I know had a 1st degree or second degree. I’m now 6.5 months pp and just dont want to have sex with my boyfriend at all for fear of it hurting too much or somehow just ripping badly again. I so feel you the ladies who feel this anxiety..

Not even using a tampon or putting anything up there anymore for fear I’ll ruin something down there.

I hate living like this. I hate myself