So I've been pregnant 2 years in a row, I'm due in 4 weeks. I have a 13mo.

I've been sober and for the first time I've dealt with anxiety and depression with no meds and no weed.

I've been finding myself in a darker place than ever. I really don't want to be on meds and I've been fighting hard. My son is my happiness and I hate when he sees me down.

I have 4 weeks left and when I'm doing great, I tell myself there's no need to even go back to smoking weed at all, I have a family, smoking was an immature high school type thing although I only smoked after I graduated... But I feel like it's just a lifestyle not meant for parents, the way I was smoking at least... I smoked all day everyday.

But with my depression, I kinda want to roll up a certain amount of joints and keep them in a case and maybe at night after kids are asleep or early morning before they wake up, and maybe during a nap time, smoke one or a half of one. Would that make me a bad mom? I used to drink wine but I feel like I don't handle alcohol as well as I'd like and I don't want to feel drunk or tipsy, I just want to feel calmed and relaxed. I think I'll try CBD joints and see how that makes me feel mentally.