I am writing this post after 8 weeks of delivery. I had planned my pregnancy and everything was perfect. My entire pregnancy journey was happy and blissful. I didn't have any morning sickness, vomiting or swollen feet. I was very active throughout my pregnancy. No complications except one that I was morbidly obese. And I wanted a normal delivery..nothing wrong..there are many women of my weight who delivered normal. So my gynac said if I want a normal delivery I should not gain more than 6 kgs my entire pregnancy. Which I did..being quite active, eating quality food etc my entire pregnancy was amazing and enjoyable...my scans were amazing until the last one at 38 weeks. The last scan I went for showed concern. My amniotic fluid reached less than half from 13.5 to 6.2, this being the reason my baby wasn't moving towards my pelvis even after doing labour inducing workouts and squats and duck walks. I really didn't understand how that happened. The placenta wasn't providing much blood to my baby either. I immediately got admitted and the plan of action was to induce me for normal delivery even with these complications and without even 1% cervix dilation. When induced for the third time. My contractions became extremely strong with still no cervix dilation and my with every contraction my baby's fetal heart rate dropped to 30 the lowest creating. I got into panic mode and started shivering and sweating at the same time. The nurse incharge saw the dip in the graph and ran to the doctor. They immediately planned a c section and started giving my fluids to stop the contractions and it didn't work. I shivered through my entire c section...it was life threatening experience for my child and was traumatic. I developed chills just a day after my delivery which kept on repeating only to understand I had got infection in my stitches which again took a while to recover. Along with all this pain Post delivery I didn't get proper training for latching and even on insisting for milk expressing the concerned lactation expert turned me down. Everytime my baby cried I couldn't latch him and he was fed formula. I never really understood. The doctors told I don't have milk and my breasts are empty or was it the fault of lactation consultants that my milk didn't come. After using perinom 3 times a day for 7 days, lactation granules for a month, 2 oxytocin hormone injections and ample amount of galactic food I didn't get breast milk. With the pressure of society I kept going into depression. Till date I am made fun of aur taunted directly and indirectly that I can't breastfeed. I came across many parents who formula fed their babies who a fine and doing great but my family and relatives still don't understand my pain. Still recovering from the trauma.