So many feelings (and a little hope to share)

I cried in my gynos office 2 weeks ago. It felt like nothing was working. No positive opks in 2 out of 3 months of yet another round of letrozole. 4 years trying. Every time I have thought there was a chance I met another health hurdle. Pcos, hypothyroidism, diabetes, and an eating disorder relapse.

And yet, here we are. Even with all my tears and doubt. I am so shocked. I actually just took the test so I could confirm for my gyno. I’m not a stranger to irregular cycles, so when cycle day 38 rolled around and my period hadn’t started, it wasn’t weird.

I don’t even know how to process this yet. I’m nervous about potential loss, and I’m a little afraid to fully believe, but I’m trying to just flow with this experience and appreciate it. Please, if you’re struggling, try to keep a little hope alive. Hoping this moment of shock and joy arrives for all of you.