I just had surgery and my husband wants to go to the bar. Am I allowed to be mad?

Question

So long story short, my husband works very hard. He works 2 weeks on, one week off and works 16 hour shifts daily. So when he’s off he’s exhausted and just wants a break, which I get. This days off, I had to have surgery yesterday. He’s basically the only one here to help take care of me. And he just asked me if he can go to the bar tonight. I would never leave him to go to a bar if it were him in this situation. But I get that he just wants to blow off steam. Am I wrong for being mad that he wants to go out?

Answer

It’s disrespectful if you need care right now, he should understand that and hold off going out for a couple of nights.

Answer

Depends on the type surgery and if you have kids or pets that need to be watched or taken care of. Need more info because if it’s just a minor one you could watch TV or Sleep while he’s out

Answer

What kind of surgery? So you need him to help you to the bathroom? If not, you'll be fine without him for a few hours.

Answer

Are you able to care for yourself, or not? If you cannot care for yourself, it’s rude for him to leave. If you are able to care for yourself, I really don’t see why he can’t step out for a drink or two.￼

Answer

What kind of surgery? Do you need help to get up and pee? If I could do at least that without assistance I wouldn't mind. Just set me up with snacks, drinks, and the remote and I would be good for a few hours.

Answer

Depends. I probably wouldn’t be thrilled either way, but if you had wisdom tooth surgery then it’s not a horrible ask. But something major then I’d find it really disrespectful

Answer

It depends, I think if you can’t physically move to get to the bathroom then I get it would make you mad... but otherwise, it’s a few hours to relax and take it easy yourself too. 
But ultimately he asked if he could, and that is your opportunity to tell him how you felt about it? So tell him. If you’d rather him stay and support you then you need to tell him that’s how you feel.

Answer

Assuming you need assistance after the surgery... No I don’t think you’re wrong to be mad. It’s not like you have surgery all the time. He can spare 1 night out at the bar to make sure you’re recovering well.

Answer

You are allowed to have feelings, you don't need anyone's permission to feel upset. 
And, I think your husband seems absent-minded in not considering you may need his help after surgery. If you need help, you should ask him to help. 
I mean, I think people get married to be a team- this is a very reasonable thing to expect from a partner.

Answer

I’m sorry girl!