My husband was away at drill this weekend. I got the world’s worst toothache (which turned out to be a bad sinus infection). I was miserable. In the actual worst pain of my life. And I was attempting to manage caring for a newborn and a toddler. On the third day of excruciating pain, I got concerned and I could no longer even slightly manage the pain. I knew I had some kind of infection.

Out of desperation, I texted my MIL. My BIL is a physician, and he frequently will write family members a script for antibiotics or a steroid or asthma medication, etc. This is not uncommon. I don’t have his number, and we have actually never met, but we have spoken and he knows of me. He just lives far away and we had yet to physically meet (Yes, I realize that’s weird.) I was desperate, and I couldn’t fathom dragging two small kids to a doctor on a Sunday. So, I asked my MIL if I could contact my BIL potentially for a prescription. I explained my situation.

She responds by telling me that he has never met me, so why would he do that? She then tells me to pack up my kids and go to the ER.

My feelings were really hurt. I felt like she insinuated I’m some random person, rather than family. I also felt like she made a decision FOR him that was not hers to make. She could have said, “I am not sure, but give him a call, here’s his number...” Instead, she would rather insist I go to the ER in the midst of a pandemic with my two small children.

She proceeded to blow up my phone, saying how concerned she was and how I definitely needed to see a doctor and get antibiotics and that she was just so worried for me. 🙄

I ended up dragging my kids to the ER. It was terrible. Now I have antibiotics and am on the mend.

Is it reasonable to be frustrated with her? I’m a licensed mental health provider. If someone in my family legitimately needed something that I could help with, I would do it in a heartbeat. Just saying. I felt like in my moment of complete desperation, she couldn’t be bothered to be helpful.

Edit: I never said he couldn’t say no if he were uncomfortable. But that wasn’t her call to make. She’s playing gatekeeper when she shouldn’t. It’s not the first time she’s tried to make it seem like I’m not family. I didn’t have a ton of options on a Sunday morning. I don’t have a PCP in our new area yet, and I was truly convinced it was a tooth infection, so I just needed a broad spectrum antibiotic until I could see a dentist. I’m not some drug seeking weirdo. 🙄

Physicians write prescriptions for family all the time without examination. I would argue it’s ethical if you are confident in the diagnosis. Hell, physicians write prescriptions for themselves. The doctor who treated me in the ER even said that. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I DID call the dentist, as I was just there on Tuesday, and I started having tooth pain on Thursday. They told me not to waste my money coming in because my X-rays looked great, and to take Tylenol and Motrin.

What’s the difference between describing my symptoms to a doctor via telemedicine and describing my symptoms to my brother in law via telephone? It’s okay to get a prescription if I am paying for the visit?