Would you move to another state with your boyfriend?

Question

So, I need some advice. My bf & I have been together for a while. We don’t live together, but we both live in NY. My bf’s friends, just brought a house in Atlanta (they all live in one huge house) because the 3 of them work together & they do construction in different states. Ever since they moved (3 months ago), my bf has been going back & forth visiting them. I kind of figured that he was going to start talking about moving out there, and he has. 
I don’t like the south, I have friends out there and have been there many times, but it’s just not a place for me. On top of that, I just started nursing school, and my goal is to become a travel nurse in California. I’m also extremely close with my family, they all live NY. I also have an amazing doctor I don’t want to lose (I have epilepsy, and I’ve had the same neurologist for over 15yrs.). There’s just many things in NY, I don’t want to lose. 
My bf isn’t that close with his family & I get it, but I feel like if it wasn’t for his friends, he wouldn’t even be bringing up moving. Furthermore, we’re not married, and I don’t want to make a huge decision like that based off a relationship. I told him I don’t want him to blame me for stopping him from doing something he really wants to do, but we won’t be together anymore, he responded “so it’s only your way or the highway?”. I said no, do what makes you happy, but don’t try to force me into something like that, especially when he knows I just began school. He said “we’ll find you a school out here.” 🤦🏾‍♀️
I feel like I can’t win. Tell me would you move out there if you were me?

Answer

Given everything you’ve said I wouldn’t do it. It sounds like you’d be giving up everything to follow him and I think that’d be a mistake. You’ve also never even lived together so how do you know that will even work out. It’s just too much of a risk in my opinion.

Answer

Sounds like you already have made the decision and know your answer. Nothing in your life lines up with moving there nor does it seem you even kinda want to. Even if you don't like the answer I think you already know it based on what you said. Sometimes people go different ways and it is ok but kinda sounds like you guys are literally going 2 different directions. You can't give up your future and he shouldn't ask you to. And if he wants to be there he should go but understand you don't wanna be there. You can love him but there are times when it isn't enough. Good luck.

Answer

I did move.. I have no regrets but I do miss my family.. that is the hard part.. especially now since I have a little one and can't travel because of covid.
I knew in my heart I wanted to move but unlike u.. I didn't have a career.. I didn't like my hometown.. I think if u do move.. u'll be resentful.. and u don't even like the place.

Answer

So you're willing to give up family, your doctor, and NY to be a nurse in California but not Atlanta?

Answer

No I wouldn’t do it. You sound extremely negative about the whole idea and tbh if you trust your doctor you need to stick with them as long as you can

Answer

You have great reasons for staying. Let the guy go.

Answer

No chance in hell. I moved for my husband after we got married to a different state that he got a job at after finishing residency. But until we officially tied the knot, we were long distance for over three years. If you truly love and care about the person, you can date long distance. But I knew I was never going to leave my job, family, city I have lived in my whole life, etc. for a boyfriend. I think it’s pretty shitty of him to expect you to just “do it”. Moving is not easy and his response to you not wanting to move kinda tells me he’s immature and not an understanding person. Sounds to me like it’s his way or the highway. Do. Not. Move.

Answer

I personally moved out to another state for a boyfriend. When things didn’t work out I missed my family and friends and ended up back home.

Answer

I always said I would not move to another state unless we were married. However, after my husband proposed, an opportunity came up in another state and we did end up moving. But to me, we were more than dating and that commitment was there. To each their own!

Answer

My partner & I have lived in 3 different states together & it’s been amazing. We’ve also never had any doubts. If I were in your situation with the doubts you’re having I wouldn’t move

Would you move to another state with your boyfriend?

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