Background: My boyfriend’s dad is the only person my boyfriend (22) really has that is close to him. They have been through a lot together, they both have bipolar, and even both have a lot of the same behaviors. The only difference is that my boyfriend’s dad is more self-aware of his behaviors, whereas my boyfriend is still trying to figure it out. His dad has also helped us with our issues before and has given us advice, both about our relationship and separate issues. I really love his dad like my own.

My bf and I are about to have a baby next month and instead of being excited, I’m worried about where his mental health is headed. I feel like he’s letting himself go. He spends more time at work and I can tell he’s doing this to get his mind off the stress. He’s in desperate need of a therapist appointment and medication - he’s currently using old meds and I don’t think it’s even helping. He claims he’s calling his therapist office repetitively but I don’t believe him. He doesn’t brush his teeth anymore.

In a more serious way, his mood and personality shifts so much. One minute he’s angry, telling me he’s not sure we live together bc I’m annoying (over something really minor) but will start bawling his eyes out seconds later saying that it’s not how he really feels, he loves me so much, and begs me not to leave.

And we are supposed to move out together. But I noticed he’s been weird about me going into his room at his dad’s house. I went in there and found that he has destroyed it. And found packs of cigarettes (he claims he quit last year?). He doesn’t know that I know.

We’ve been together for 4 years and I have NEVER seen him, his habits, or his room like this. I don’t know how to help him and I would think maybe his dad would know to do? Or what do I do?