And then just get so depressed because it's just not happening?

We've been TTC for almost four years. COVID19 delayed our treatment by a year. We're still under investigation, our first doctor did not take us seriously at all, in fact we only saw him once because I battled for three months (literally) to make a follow up appointment and then I left in tears after an hour and a half of waiting because he was "running late". That also delayed our treatment.

Whenever my husband and I do something I can't help but think, how awesome would be it for our kid to experience late night drives to get ice cream? How cool would it be for them to play on their jungle gym while we cook on the fire? Imagine how much fun we'd have doing game nights?

And then it just doesn't happen.