Broke up

Broke up with my boyfriend today. We’ve been arguing and fighting non stop for months. He also has ptsd. I do love him and care about him and he does for me. I can’t take the fighting and being put down all the time. I feel like I am going to backside and call him. I miss him. Does it ever get any easier we been together for 4 years now. Everything I have done today has brought back good memories and then I start wondering what if I took him back.