Anyone else struggling with toxic family members?

My grandmother tries to incite arguments between family members to be in control. She has quite a bit of money and uses it to get influence. She buys big presents and everyone forgives her, but the damage is done. For example she told my brother how badly I treated her and how I am jealous of him and he cannot trust me.

Likewise she tells me that he lives in such a mess and they will take away his kids if he doesn't change and I should be careful with him.

My brother doesn't believe me that my grandma is talking sh*t about him as she bought him a car and he thinks I am jealous, which I am not. I even told my grandma I don't want her money anymore.

I stopped having contact with them for months, but I missed them. It feels like I cannot live with them, neither without.