Tldr at bottom.

I thought I'd share this story to help any others that might just be having similar issues and to be a reminder.

YOU HAVE TO COMMUNICATE!

I love my wife. But she stopped being what I needed and I was wondering if I made the right decision marrying her. But I realized that we hadn't communicated clearly with each other what we needed in a hot minute.

Things out of our control happened causing us to move in with my family. She pulled away from me because it. She didnt feel comfortable expressing her love for me like she used to in front of them. She stopped showing her love in the ways that I had come to rely on to help get through my bad days and brighten my good days further.

Little touches at random times like her hand resting on my hip while standing next to me, brushing against me as she walks by, bringing me small random things from the store cause she saw it and thought of me, randomly saying I love you for no reason other than to just say it.

These things almost always made me smile.... But then she stopped doing them. And I didnt realize at first how much they impacted me. They seem so small but to me it was always a HUGE thing.

When she pulled back like that I started to get really irritable because I didnt feel her love for me anymore. I started lashing out at EVERYONE. Because of this she felt like I didn't want her to touch me at all which just made it even worse!

This combined with other things KILLED my sex drive.

Before all this happened we were going at it like bunnies all the time. But it all came to a standstill because we weren't communicating. And this caused even more fighting until it finally came to a head.

At this point I'd finally realized what had sparked me feeling like this but still didn't know WHY my wife had pulled away. And I didnt feel like I could actually talk to her about what was bothering me anymore.

We got in a big fight one night because she wanted sex but I once again didn't . We'd had sex a few times when we got here but in the last 2 months we had had sex 3 times.

I broke down crying and finally was able to get myself to tell her what was wrong. She apologized for pulling away. She told me why she had pulled back and promised to start doing those things she did before because she hadnt realized that it had such a big effect on my day to day feelings. I also apologized for the way I had been acting.

That night has changed things between us. She has started doing these things that I love so much and that makes me feel so loved again. My sex drive has started to come back. We have been happier and are communicating better cause of it.

We still have a ways to go to get back to where we were. But things are definitely better. In fact we went out on a date last night and actually had fun doing so without any sort of argument or stress.

So to wrap this up, lack of communication almost cost us our marriage. Even though we love each other, not talking to each other caused us to fight and almost lose the one that meant the most to us. COMMUNICATION IS KEY TO MAKING A RELATIONSHIP HAPPY AND HEALTHY!!!

Tldr: I almost left my wife because of lack of communication. My wife pulled back in the ways she showed her love for me without explaining why because she was uncomfortable doing so in front of my family after moving in with them for uncontrollable reasons. It killed my sex drive and made me irritable and prone to lashing out. I felt like I couldn't talk to her anymore. We finally got in a big fight about it all and I was able to tell her why I'd been reacting the way I had. She apologized and has made an effort to do those thing again. Our marriage has been saved because we are finally talking to each other about what we need and not just bottling it up anymore.

Does he come first or her ?

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