i feel like this might be too much but i honestly just want to get it out.. i missed my period fully in February and waited to take a test until it had been two weeks late.. i guess since i’ve had a miscarriage before in 18’.. and been told that because of multiple traumatic situations ending in injuries that i most likely would have higher risk pregnancies. but hadn’t missed a period since i was 15, so honestly at the time i was more scared that something else might be wrong with me and just expected it to come eventually.. so when i finally took a few over the course of the next week and they all were positive I felt like as long as i was extra careful in my day to day life and took steps to make it the safest it could be it would all be ok.. i had someone staying with me at the time and i would leave her at my house while i worked 9-7 6days a week.. but her being there began to become an issue when she started to try to start arguments the moment i’d get home everyday, the arguments had been building for about a week when i finally told the people closest to me that i thought i was pregnant, including my boyfriend who was probably the most excited i’ve ever seen someone to be a parent. but only a few days after sharing this information i came home from work on march 14th to another stupid argument about nothing in particular.. but i felt super tired and didn’t really feel like i could handle conflict that day so i asked her to just not talk to me because i had come off my bipolar meds since taking the tests and was feeling kind of depressed that day. to make it short and less triggering for others : she tried to “fight” me.. and i had to pin her on the ground at least 5 times until one of the other people i live with finally got her out of the house, she left that night but at one point during the assault she said “if i was pregnant and cared i wouldn’t hit back”.. which ultimately broke my heart a little more over that next week when i started spotting at work 2 days later. since then the bleeding got heavier, and two weeks after the fight when i took another test at work it was negative.. i am still off my meds and so have been majorly depressed since then but i don’t know what to do after all of this, like i just feel so genuinely hopeless all the time now. i am safe now, but i still don’t understand why it had to happen, it all hurts.