Three weeks ago I went into the emergency room with severe pain in my abdomen. We have been trying for 3 years with no success so neither of us had our hopes up that we were pregnant. To our shock we were pregnant, but 45 minutes later we found it our baby had implanted in my tube and it had ruptured. I was rushed to have emergency surgery with internal bleeding. My tube had to be removed and now it's going to be even harder for us to conceive. I've had 3 miscarriages before my husband. and this was his first child. This has been the hardest time for me. I have a coworker friend who is the same amount of weeks I would have been. Another friend just had their baby and one of my sisters is about to have theirs. I feel so defeated and broken. Everyday I argue with myself about whether I'm worthy enough to even have a baby. And I blame myself everyday and this is the hardest time for me right now. I don't even want to go back to work I am struggling so hard to put a smile on. 😥