Is this normal behavior ???

Question

My husband and I have been together for 10 years. He was my first ever boyfriend I got pregnant 6 weeks after we met we got married 4 years after that and now have 4 children and 1 baby in heaven. I’m having an issue tho. HIS PARENTS!!!! He caters to their every need and want. No matter what we are doing he will drop EVERYTHING if one of his parents call. He has left us on Christmas to go run his father around... even on our 5th year wedding anniversary he left because his father needed him. He use to do it a lot with his mom but he has kinda stopped doing that as much but his father is the main culprit. He has done nothing but hurt our relationship. His father was the reason our heat got cut off in the middle of the winter and we had to let our child live elsewhere for a week because it was so cold. He constantly gives gives and gives to his father.... takes food out of our house for him. My husband and easily given his father $2000 in the last few years putting us in a horrible financial situation and making me figure it out...Meanwhile his father does NOTHING for us or our children. He hasn’t seen his grandkids in 2 months meanwhile he sees my husband every single day. He doesn’t have a car so he calls my husband every single day to take him places. I feel so lonely....This is my first ever relationship so I’m not sure if this is normal or not. I need help because I’m tired I’m just not sure if this is a reason to give up. He tells me one thing “I’m done with everyone my queen It’s gonna finally be about us” but AS SOON S his father calls he is gone for hours. It has never been about us.... Only thing we have gained in 10 years is new cars multiple kids and ALOT OF BILLS AND HEARTACHE....

Answer

Nope, it’s definitely not normal behavior from a grown man with a wife and children.

Answer

That’s definitely not normal for most people. I would have a conversation with him. Explain to him that although you do realize that his father is older and dependent on him, he can’t always go running every time he calls. It is perfectly acceptable to let his parents know that unless they are on fire, can’t stop puking, have their bones sticking out, or anything else of that nature, they can wait until he has a free moment to tend to them and their needs.  He needs to remind his parents that he loves them, but that he also has a family that needs him as well. The parents do this because he continues to allow it. Boundaries need to be set and currently it looks like there aren’t any.

Answer

My husband was the same way. His father didn't have a car so he asked my hubby for rides. He borrowed money that he never paid back. FIL even asked to move in with us but hubby said no. It got better once we moved to a new state hundreds of miles away. No more free taxi. He still asked for the occasional money transfer but hubby started putting his foot down.

Answer

You and your children need to be his first priority. You are his family. They may be his parents but he took on the responsibility of always putting you first when he married you. You should not be living in the freezing cold because his father needed money or whatever.

Answer

The family who made with you should come first. Period. Your husband needs to put his foot down and not be so accessible. What he allows is what will continue.

Is this normal behavior ???

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