Boyfriend left me

My boyfriend left me because ever since we’ve found out I’m pregnant he’s been stressed. He told me he was leaving to be a better person. Since he’s been gone he’s gotten a job but still treats me like shit. He’s my baby’s father so I continue trying to connect with him and make more effort to see him than he does me. He doesn’t ask me how I am or how the baby is.

Whenever I am around him everything I do annoys him. I was parallel parking and he yelled at me because it wasn’t right. I asked him why he treats me like that and gets so aggressive and he says “because it’s you”. He’s told me multiple times he’s only with me because I’m pregnant. He smokes weed (which I only agree with if he does it in moderation) but he’s started doing it way way more. I spent the night with him and he was going to smoke at 1am and sometimes he doesn’t wash his hands when he gets back. Before I fell asleep I asked him to remember to wash his hands. I said it while dozing off. I get woken to him over me screaming in my face shaking his hands like he’s about to hit me. I was flinching and my stomach got tight and tingly. I didn’t want to leave at 2am because I don’t like driving late. I went to a work function with him because he asked me and screamed at me when I almost took a left hand turn. It scared me. My early pregnancy/ non pregnant self would answer him with yelling and argue. Since I’ve been pregnant stress and yelling really affects me.

Those are only a few example but it seems as though me breathing around him can trigger him. He never wants to talk names and hasn’t been involved with me at all. I know he’s toxic for me but I keep trying. A part of me is sad and just wants it to workout. But I know it’s not worth being around him for the safety of me and my child. I’m so confused but ultimately know what I have to do. Why is it so hard for me to stop loving him and keep from contacting him? I feel so weak. I’m emotionally drained.