Feeling discouraged

So I tested early and I know I shouldn’t have but when you have been trying for so long I feel like that need for news early is heavy. I tested at 9 dpo and it was negative. I noticed that at 8-9 dpo I was cramping so badly. I felt like I was going to get my period with in a few hours. I was achy irritable. Yesterday at 9 dpo right before bed when I was using the toilet I got beige discharge on the toilet paper when I wiped. It was so lightly colored and just barley there. Now today I’ve only felt twinges now and then and another negative test. I’m feeling a little more human today. I’m worried that my symptoms going away or lessening means I am out. I’m just needing a little encouragement and uplifting. Id give anything to see those two lines.