I’m so not ok.

How does everyone else do it? I have watched person after person after person get pregnant and have 1, 2, even 3 kids since we have started trying again... 3 years of try this or have you tried that... IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. But I hate you. I would never say that to them and I don’t hate them but I do. You complain about no sleep... I just want to hear a cry. You complain that you can’t lose your belly do you know what I would give to have that belly? Do you know what I would give to have the kids I’ve miscarried? Do you know what I would give to be able to tell my husband he is gonna be a daddy? My mom that she is gonna be a Mimi? I have gone to baby shower after baby shower and I always smile and congratulate but do you know how many times I have sat in a bathroom and sobbed uncontrollably because I’m jealous and I just want it to be me... only to have someone tell me it will happen when I least expect it or when they stopped trying it finally happened or god will give you a baby when he is ready... just stop it dosent help. Ok sorry I will stop ranting now 😞