All my life I never had those group of girlfriends to go out and hang with to blow off steam and let loose. In high school I was done wrong. Was left out & betrayed. I’m 20 now. I have a BFF, but of course she has her own group of friends she goes out with and I’m not the type of person to beg to be friends with anyone or force anything that’s not meant to be.

Anyways, I have a very big heart and doing people wrong never crossed my mind nor does it run in my blood. I just simply can’t do it. It doesn’t sit right with me. Of course I am human and I make mistakes and I apologize for it but to intentionally do it, nah, never. I don’t know if its me or people really are intimidated by me or don’t want to be friends with me for whatever the reason might be. I’ve had people cut me off for the pettiest reason. Things that could’ve been worked out.

It does bother me when I do want to go out and forget that I have no friends to go out with. I have friends I text over phone, but none other than my bff but she had her own life and she will always be there. She did invite me to be friends with her friends from high school. They were sweet and all, but then the group just fell apart and so it was four of us left including me. None of them reached back out to me, but as of today they still hang just without me now. I can’t go to my bff and beg her to tell her friends to be my friend again because things happen for a reason. It is what it is.

My type of loyalty is rare, and the people have by my side now knows that it is, and that’s why they are around till this day. I recently just had a falling out with my boyfriend best friend but there’s nothing I can do about it because we just stopped talking because I noticed a switch in his attitude & I asked what was wrong with him and was trying to be there for him but i couldn’t force it out of him and i left it alone at that point. He was being dry and nonchalant so I just removed his energy from my life. Moral of the story is my social life has been a rollercoaster my whole life I just hope some day I meet those group of people that has a heart as big as mine and we can rock it out thick through thin.