Embarrassed about my weight...

Hello! So I am a 22 years old, 5’5, and a college student. I use to play volleyball growing up right up until my university shut down in winter of 2019. So I lost my RA scholarship, my volleyball scholarship, friends, and much more. It was like a second home to me.

Fast forward a little, and I transferred to a different school, wasn’t playing volleyball anymore, and was hyper focused on school because I my program is pretty rigorous. I started college at about 135-140lbs. But now I’m going to be a 5th year senior (due to transfer) and I stepped on the scale recently and weight 200 lbs. I want to/do cry almost every time I step on the scale. I go through phases where I work out like crazy and the scale doesn’t change. I go through phases where I cut out all junk food and drinks, yet, no real change.

I want to feel good in my own skin again. Is anyone else dealing with this or has dealt with it and can offer some kind words or tips? Thanks!