And no body knows.

Knows the sadness I feel.

My nights are lonely but my days I try, try to be happy for my little one.

Why do I feel this sadness?

I tell my husband I want to die.

Maybe during childbirth so my children don’t know how sad I am, all they know is mommy loved them and she “didn’t” want to die.

Because life is too much.

I am alone and the weight of life is to heavy for too long.

I am tired.

The only one I talk to... he doesn’t understand. I am selfish.

I’m the person I hope my daughter never turns out to be.

I hate myself and the mom that I am because I want to be better.

But at this point better is to be gone.

They really don’t need me.

What a mess I am.

What a joke.

And as I sit in bed alone I hear your little voice calling for me.

You’re still asleep but your sitting up crying for mommy and I pick you up.

You stop.

You’re happy and safe and the crying stops.

I hate myself more.

Maybe you do need me.... but I am weak.

You deserve better.

So I lay here and cry more because I am fighting this battle between what is best for you

And no body knows