So I am in a relationship with a man 17 years older than me.

Just to nip it in the bud; I wasn’t looking for an older man, it just happened. We fell in love and that was that.

However, the age did play a role in the whole having kids schtick. He already has one child with an ex wife, with whom he does not get along. His kid is amazing though, and we get along swell.

In this same realm of thought, we were already planning on having at least one more kid before he “gets too old.” His words, not mine. Which I understand, there are things you want to do as an adult, have that freedom that you didn’t get because you were nurturing and growing a human being. But I still want that and I’m 17 years behind him.

Recently things have been tense and he brought up how he doesn’t want kids with me anymore. I never wanted kids before I met him and suddenly I started desperately wanting kids, especially with him. It was like someone flicked a switch and told my clock to start ticking.

I guess my issue is...what do you do when the person you want to be with and have kids with and grow a life with...doesn’t want ALL of that with me?

There’s always the option to work through it and try to get back to him wanting kids again. Or even breaking up so we don’t waste our time. Or counseling. Or just sucking it up and not having kids.

But I feel so lost and hurt and he doesn’t seem to care whether or not I feel hurt by these things.

What is it about me that changed? Why doesn’t he want a kid with me specifically anymore?