My husband and I are falling apart... Like i honestly don't think we are going to last much longer. Hes just done so much wrong to me i feel dumb for even trying half the time. And just because i need to tell SOMEBODY, here are a few things that really urk my nerves...

1. We had our first baby in the middle of a pandemic. 2 weeks b4 xmas. I was scared af and didnt want anyone around her at first but i felt bad for everyone so i decided as long as they dont smell like smoke, sanitize and wear a mask they could visit and hold her. But only 2 people at a time because as u know being in crowded areas increases the chances of catching the covid-19. Well anyway we talked about doing our own lil cmas dinner all pregnancy. I didn't wanna invited tons of ppl and i also didnt want to leave anyone out. So i planned dinner. Then comes xmas day and he goes behind my back and invites his entire mf family over behind my back. Everyone ran in and out the door countless times to go smoke and came right in smelling like cigs. He took such a risk with our baby it still pisses me off. Everyone was all hudled together in a tiny room with a newborn baby. Smfh.

2. When i was about 7 months pregnant he decided to go fix on his exs house. He had a million different jobs to do and he decided to go do that one. Him and his dad straight lied to my face for weeks about being there. I had a bad feeling, checked his phone and bam there was her address. I very calmy went to him and gave him a chance to tell me the truth and of course he lied.

3. We lost our baby from the first pregnancy... We went to a parenting class and they were checking heartbeats and just so happen we didn't have one. I was mf devastated. I was in such shock i started crying then hysterically laughing to the doctors ( im sure they thought i was crazy) anyway we get home and my husband gets drunk and harassed me all night to have sex. Like wtf. For one we just lost our baby and for 2 i didnt wanna sit there knowing my passed away baby was inside of me let alone have sex with him in there.

4. We got into an argument about him not helping with our daughter and he decided to disappear for a whole entire night. No call nothing.

5. He turned our wedding day into shit. I arrived to the spot n he didnt hug me kiss me or even tell me i looked good. I let it go. Then when walking down the aisle he didnt look at me once. Then afterwards we had a cookout. I was walking around eating to conversate with everyone and he got a huge attitude because he wanted too sit with his mom. His mom who lives 2 mins from our house. He can spend time with her any day and he chose to be stuck up her ass on our wedding day.

I dont know about you but to me he seems kind of like a dick... Then tonight i mention sex anf hes like no i need to shower then 10 seconds later he says hes not showering n hes just guna sleep on the couch. Like wtf dude. Im just sick of the lies and the game's idk what to do anymore. Sick of not being loved. I feel so alone all the time. Sorry rant over.