I’m so young, I’m only 18. Yet I’m always so stressed, tired, and sad. Right now the funniest thing in my life is work. I’m a server at a bar in downtown Florida. Working in nightlife can be fun but that’s the closest to fun I get. I live with my boyfriend, we’ve been dating for almost 3 years. I feel like we’re just roommates sometimes, not a couple. His mental state isn’t the best either. At one point he was enough to make me happy. But now nothing makes me truly happy, I go long times without moments of true laughter, the type where you can barley breath. I’m never happy or excited to do anything. I only sleep, work and barely keep up with eating and making sure things are clean around the house. I crave the feeling of excitement and something to look forward too. I usually feel this way majority of the time. I want to change my lifestyle so bad and I try but it never works. Before i go to bed I tell myself all of things I will do the next day to better myself or make myself feel less miserable but I wake up feeling tired and not being able to get myself out out bed. It saddens me the way I live life. I miss out on so much. I don’t know what will make me happy or what to do with myself. I’m caught in an endless cycle. I’m confused about everything. I don’t know myself. How can I find motivation to do things and live life the way I want too. How can I not be stressed out over the littlest things. How can I find out who I am as a person. I’ve felt this way for a long time and can’t remember a time where I was actually happy. Where i woke up in the morning and was excited for the day instead of feeling like shit all the time. How do I make this stop?