I can’t forgive husband

Okay so I resent him so much for things he has told me and done. We dated for four years and now married two year I got pregnant he rejected me so many times barely gave me intimacy. He barely did it to me and when I enitiated it he was like not now when to sleep I cried my self to sleep. I was pregnant on our wedding night and he rejected me also I cried myself to sleep crying. So now when he wants to do it and we do it I can’t forgive him that’s why I orgasm but don’t feel pleasure just lay there. He says he wants to be with me but I feel like I don’t anymore I love him but I can’t forgive him for all the times he rejected me sexually. When I want it he doesn’t want to and when he wants it he wants me to satisfy he’s needs we been two years in this and I can’t be llore this. Ive taken so much rejection from him and cried so much over this I’ve cried long nights over this.