Are any of you bipolar? If yes, how did you know?

Are any of you depressed? If yes, same question.

Anyone think “something was wrong” and that you needed help but didn’t know where to start?

I’m kinda scared some days.. today is one.. I just finished my period, I can usually find a way of blaming my fear on hormones. If I’m honest this is my first time ever saying out loud that I’m scared and might need help.

I just don’t know what’s wrong or where to start.

I know there is a chance NOTHING is wrong and that this is normal but when I honestly list out loud everything “wrong” with me the list feels so heavy I’m so ashamed.

But maybe these are normal things??? And I don’t need to think so deep in to it?

I’m 30, some of the weird things I do are

Sleep until noon even though I have things I could be doing

I don’t drink to excess but I do drink more than I would like to admit and I can’t help but wonder if I’m self medicating

I ignore phone calls from people I love and enjoy for no reason sometimes and I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to call them back

I cry for no reason

I also laugh for no reason

Experience extreme joy for the people I love soo much like my husband, puppies, grandma sister etc haha like I overly express it like crazy and I get so giddy and happy

I over share/over explain a lot

I stay up late sometimes for no reason And when I do I always over eat.

In fact I over eat everyday to the point of pain/nausea

Those are just to name a few.

For instance it’s 2:30pm and I haven’t done a thing today as I’m riddled with what I think Is probably anxiety.. a day like this is Unfortunately very normal for me.

I have PCOS.

I don’t self harm but I think I can be sort of self destructive and either care way too much about things or I don’t care about them at all.

Writing this down has been a rollercoaster of fear shame and relief.

If you took the time to read this.. please let me know your thoughts.

Proposed to a man

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