After 3 years of an on and off relationship with my emotionally abusive boyfriend, I called it quits. He disrespected me, threatened me with a breakup everytime I told him how I felt uncomfortable with him flirting with other women, and manipulated me into thinking I was a mean person for bringing my relationship concerns up.

One day, I told him that the night of this one wedding still haunts me and affects how I communicate with him. I told him it made me super insecure that I feel like he is pursuing someone else whenever he goes MIA from texting me. I tell him these things in hopes that we can get over the hurdle and work things out to come out stronger as a couple.

[Backstory on the wedding: I saw him flirting with a family friend of his while he was drunk at the wedding, and called him out on it by saying, "Are you flirting with so and so?" He said nothing and stormed off with the girl that night, yelled at me in front of his friends and in public by saying 'You're so jealous,' 'I don't want to see you,' 'go home,' 'you're not coming to the afterparty,' and 'don't touch me.' He left me for the girl. I was waiting for my car in valet and crying. Two of his friends asked me if I was okay and one texted me making sure I made it home safely. As I was getting in my car and crying, he was walking with the girl to his ride and yelled at me saying GOODBYE. Then they drove off: Him with the girl, and the 2 other friends in the same car. The next day, he apologizes because his friends called him out saying he was a complete asshole to me that night, and with the way he was acting they would have felt jealous too. It didn't seem like a real apology. He only did it because he got caught publicly, and these things still happened behind closed doors].

So done with the backstory! With all honesty and genuineness, I tell him that this night traumatized me and I have a hard time feeling secure with him when he goes MIA because sometimes I wonder if he's chatting up other women. I did have a slip of the tongue and said what he did was fucking messed up. He responds by getting angry, bringing up random things that annoys him about me (completely off topic) to distract what I was talking about, and threatening to break up with me. But then he takes it back saying that if I don't stop this, it won't be good. He always threatens to break up with me or tells me "you're doing a 'good job,' you haven't given me a reason to break up with you yet." He did say one semi-helpful thing which is that I am the only one who can get over it to move forward. He told me that the night of the wedding, he broke up with me (which I did not know was a break up lol I thought he was just being horrible to me cause he always acts like this), and tells me that he could have done anything he wanted that night because he broke up with me. All I say is I don't understand and was so silent. He told me he didn't want to hang up on me but he's getting there. Then he rushed to say goodbye because I couldn't get myself to talk and he hung up on me.

I texted him that I needed space for two days, but was not breaking up with him. After the two days, he told me he needed time and avoided me in public for over a week to push me to break up with him. He didn't give me a exact time frame or anything, but I occassionally would check in by text and ask him how he is feeling.

Then I asked him if he had a time to meet this week, and he gave me an unrealistic time and location to meet that fit his schedule for his convenience. So I asked if he had a different time in mind, but he would say I am MAYBE free on this date. Then he told me that what he had to say would not take long and maybe a phone call is better, so I respond asking if it's bad news. He then threatened me saying, 'Do you want me to send it to you by text?' I told him what I will not send him what I need to tell him by text. I ended up being forced to talk to him that day at the inconvenient time and location. For him, it took 3 minutes to drive that location. It took me 10 minutes to get there and had minutes to break up.

As I was speaking with him, he told me that I'm doing a 'good job' in how I was telling him that I wanted to break up. I told him to not tell me that. He kind of looked ok when I pulled the plug on this, or maybe he was putting on a fake strong face. I kept it cordial and said maybe we can be friends. Usually he is always in a hurry to leave me and bounces fast after our dates, so this time I bounced fast after breaking up with him. And he stayed in the parking lot even though he had to go somewhere. Maybe he just realized that he messed up, and I am gone for good.

Honestly fuck this guy. That's all. My angry side wants him to hurt, but I still feel sad about this. I need encouragement to prevent me from feeling any type of remorse.

Sorry if this is so long, this is mostly for me. I use this as documentation so I can read it again and not get back into this cycle of abuse.

Thank you to those who were here for me during this difficult time. I appreciate your love and support.