I have an old friend from years ago that asked me to be in her wedding 2 years ago. Due to covid it’s been pushed back to this august.

Since she asked me, I’ve had a baby.

She’s decided on the bridal shower and bachelorette party to be on the same weekend.

Her other bridesmaids are all in their early 20’s and are not married and have no kids, while I’m in my 30’s.

The bachelorette party is planned for all day Friday, lunch, spa day and dinner, then they want to do a sleepover.

Then setup for the shower on the Saturday, then the shower on the Sunday.

I don’t have the money to pay for everything they want to do for the bachelorette, and a shower gift, and I don’t feel comfortable leaving my baby overnight. Plus my husband can’t take time off on the Friday and I have no one to babysit.

I’m so ready to just tap out of the whole thing at this point!

None of them get it and they won’t budge on anything.

My friend is also the type to get offended and talk shit behind my back.

Should I message my friend separately and explain my situation and risk her getting upset and offended?