okay so please no judgement lol

my ex and i broke up the week of mother’s day , we were together for almost 2 years. for the last 6 months of our relationship he was cheating on me but i didn’t find out until ends of may. i stayed in hopes that maybe we could move past it but i just couldn’t so we broke it off.

so there was this one specific girl that i knew he cheated with but he had promised me over and over that he didn’t want her . and it came to the point where i messaged her. she told me straight out that she wasnt going to stop talking to him. so fast forward to now, after my ex and i broke up he started dating her (mostly for her money because she got the PPP loan) ... we didn’t talk for a week but then i gave in and reached out and just told him i missed him but that i understood we were moving on and that it was for the best. he then asked if we could see each other so the next day he came over. we ended up having sex and i told him you know what i can’t be casual with you , i still love you. and he’s like i still love you too, to death. and i only stopped talking to you because you told me to leave you alone. i told him i didn’t wanna be his side bitch because that wasn’t fair to me.. but then yesterday he called me and we ended up meeting up. we were chilling and talking then next thing you know we had sex again.

i really don’t care about that girl and her feelings , what i care about is me. and how i feel about everything.. i just don’t know. he says that i’ll never be a side bitch to him ever but obviously i am being exactly that. i want to keep seeing him (not just to have sex) but this man was my best friend , literally my whole heart so being without him feels so strange and like im missing something (i know that sounds corny but it’s the truth lol) . there’s so much love i have for him but idk ... what would you ladies do ?